Grace Bender, active in church

Grace Betts Bender of Cary, N.C., wife of a former Episcopal rector here, died on April 16, 2005. She was 80 years old.

Mrs. Bender was the wife of the Rev. Frederick Bender, rector of St. Stephen’s Church from 1981 to 1988, and was active in church work.

She was born in Trenton, N.J., on Dec. 22, 1925 and grew up in Maplewood, N.J.. After attending The Washington School for Secretaries, she trained to become a nurses’ aide during World War II, and served in Victoria, Texas. She then returned to New Jersey with her husband where she began raising their four children.

Later, Mrs. Bender became the executive secretary to the Darien chapter of the American Red Cross. She had lived in Darien before coming here.

“Above all, she was known for her quiet thoughtfulness and as a specialist at creating lovely needlepoint art and cut lampshades for countless relatives and friends,” her family said.

Besides her her husband of 60 years, Mrs. Bender is survived by four children, Joanne Growitz of Eagle, Idaho; Sarajane Diosi of Epping, N.H.; Robert Bender of Moorestown, N.J.; Cynthia Scam of Monroe; a brother, Robert Betts of Boise, Idaho; 10 grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren.

A service of thanksgiving for her life will be held at Saint Luke’s Episcopal Church, Darien, at 11 a.m.. on Saturday, May 28.

Memorial gifts may be sent to The American Indian Education Fund, P.O. Box 27491, Albuquerque, NM 87125-9847.